Until I started going on the birth control pill, I considered myself an average teenager, no worries about diet, I exercised and was healthy. However, several months into my taking the pill I began to look at myself as overweight at 5′ 7″ and 120 lbs., I started by cutting back slightly on certain foods and doing more exercise like running. Now, nearly 1 and a half years later, I hardly eat any starches, oils or fats. My diet is mainly vegetables fruit and chicken or seafood and fat free yogurt, since I don’t really eat fat-laden dairy. I’m down to 110 lbs. and I still feel horrible about myself. I think my mood swings also have a lot to do with it. I’ve binged and purged but mainly deny myself. My boyfriend knows about my problem, but my parents are oblivious. I don’t know how to tell them without disappointing them in some way, and I’d really like to seek help from a dietitian and therapist. I’d really appreciate any advice, and possibly known dietitians in the Toronto Ontario area. – a
Dear a:
As you have discovered, losing more weight isn’t the solution to feeling better about your body, or about yourself. You’ve started chasing the elusive dream of “If I could just lose five more pounds, then I’ll feel good about myself.” If you reach that goal then it will have to be, “Well, maybe just another five pounds, THEN I’ll feel good.” How you feel about your body has become linked with how you feel about yourself and your body is taking the brunt of your attempts to improve your self-esteem.
The mood swings can be caused by the way you’re eating. When we’re not getting enough to eat our blood sugar drops and we feel anxious, irritable and tired. The bingeing and purging will make this worse and the mood swings will become more extreme. Simply allowing yourself to eat balanced meals (protein, starch, fruit and/or vegetable) at regular intervals (usually every 3-5 hours) will help you feel better. I’m concerned that you’re not getting enough starch (carbohydrate), especially with the amount you’re exercising. Carbohydrates are the best muscle fuel and without it the muscles can be breaking down. We can get too low in our fat intake also. Inadequate fat in the diet can result in a fatty acid deficiency that causes hair loss and dry skin.
I applaud your desire to seek help. Give your parents the benefit of the doubt, they may be very glad you told them and want to support you as best they can. It could be more disappointing to them that you didn’t tell them and kept it a secret. Breaking the silence is one of the first steps in recovery.
To locate a dietitian go to the Canadian Dietetic Association website, http://www.dietitians.ca/, scroll to ‘find a dietitian’ and you can locate someone by province and specialty area. The dietitian with eating disorders experience will be networked with therapists that can help you. Best wishes on your journey.
Emily