I am 24 and a mother of 3 very active boys. I have always been on the small side – same with most of the females in my family. I am not even sure if this is the proper place to get help. I do not nor have I ever had an eating “disorder.” It is hard to explain my issue, but i will try… I am now only approx **lbs or so (not sure) my youngest is going to be 1 yr. in a month. I was happy at my post baby weight – approx. ***lbs. I felt good and felt I looked good (healthy) but as is the case with the other boys too…i lost the weight rapidly and now i struggle just to stay close to **. I feel lost, alone, and sick. Around the area that I live most fight with the opposite problem and even when I have tried to see dietitians or speak to them at our local hospital they brush me off like I’m either in denial or they just can’t help me…not a lot of people seem to have my problem…I can’t gain and WANT to. I have never had an issue with “me.” I have been content on who I am and what I look like, but lately I don’t even like to be in photos because I feel like I look grossly thin… I just can’t seem to gain. Help me please. I am afraid if I lose much more weight I could do major damage health wise, and emotionally I can’t take this anymore! TY for listening even if you can’t help. – amanda
Dear Amanda,
I am so sorry to hear that you are facing this struggle, and that no one has taken your concerns seriously. You don’t state your height, so I don’t know the extent to which you are underweight, but you are certainly at a low number at this point. Although you feel alone in your plight, you DEFINITELY are not. Many, many people have problems gaining weight for a variety of reasons—from fast metabolisms, to active lifestyles, to medical problems. I suspect there is more than one reason for your difficulty in gaining weight.
From the information you provide in your letter, I would have to agree with you that disordered eating is probably not the issue. The emotional stress you are experiencing is due to a legitimate concern about the health risks of too low a body weight. Your response seems very rational. Again, however, without knowing your height and more details, I can’t be sure that your goal weight is a healthy one for your body type.
What would be best for you is to be evaluated medically by a caring, compassionate health care provider. It could be a doctor who is a general practitioner, an endocrinologist, or even a nurse practitioner. If your problems are gastrointestinal in nature (nausea, diarrhea, constipation, gas, etc.), then you might want to consider seeing a gastroenterologist. Ask around your community, to find out the names of professionals who have a good reputation for being thorough—and for listening. You need to know if there is a medical cause for your weight problem. If so, with a proper diagnosis, a plan can be put in place for the best nutrition intervention (hopefully, with a registered dietitian who is more helpful than the ones you’ve already seen). If the problem is simply a fast metabolism combined with being too busy to eat well, a dietitian should also be able to work with you to help find ways to meet the nutritional needs of your body. Your doctor or nurse practitioner could make a referral, or you might use the tips in “Finding a Nutritionist” at this site.
You deserve to voice your concerns, and get the medical help and support you need. Don’t be discouraged by a few people who have not been sensitive to your problem. Keep trying until you get connected with just the right professionals.
Warmly,
Ann