(Memo: heres a poem I wrote. Don’t give up the fight!)
“I WOULD”
I would rather live than play dead to ED.
I want to feel alive and feel to heal peeling the layers of my soul where there was a hole.
God’s infinite love was abounding and full and He wanted me whole.
Grace brought me to face my pain that was insane.
I never saw the light even though I reached with all my might.
God cried for me and felt my pain and every tear.
He said “Enough.”
He brought special helpers in unexpected ways to help me and lead me on this journey.
I may fall down but I will get up again, even if I have to crawl. I won’t give up the fight. I will try with all my might. And keep pushing through no matter how hard it is.
I started to live life again through new eyes and becoming renewed both my body and soul. I am healing from the past at last.
I thank God.
I thank God for my life.
..
This is so beautiful!!! Well done!
Hi everyone,
Thank you for the comments. I actually wrote this poem! Its my second one I wrote. The more I don’t use Ed the more I become creative and able to think and express instead of being numb…I will be writing and sharing more of my thoughts very soon..Who knows maybe ill even publish a book of my poems someday…
julia
I appreciate this line, as I so often feel as though God is condemning me because I struggle so much with my eating disorder-(I “know” God does not condemn-but am working on truly KNOWING it): “God cried for me and felt my pain and every tear.” Needed to hear this, thank you Constance.
Hi Elena,
I too felt that God was condeming for my eating disorder. Esp when I was in India on a missions trip and I was struggling with a eating disoder and people were starving for food because they were homeless. I felt guilty. BUt God does feel our sorrow and pain. In scriptures it says he has bottled up every tear that we have cried and knows exactly how many hairs on our head. Through my trip in INdia he intervened and I got help and several people told me to get help. God does truly care for all of us and he doesnt want us in bondage. in facts he wants FREEDOM FOR US!!!
Hi Julia,
Thank you for your words and the reminder that God does not want us in bondage, I appreciate it. That’s amazing how God used your India trip and provided people to walk with you as you sought help! Now you are encouraging and being a light to those in the place you were once in-pretty neat how that works.
Thank you again,
Elena
Sounds like it could become a song! I especially appreciate the part acknowledging that in the process of recovery, everyone crashes sometimes … but that’s okay, we then get back up … and with Abba’s help and the help of our fellow strugglers, we push on.