Healing the Father Wound

As some of you know, I have a passion for seeing dads and daughters strengthen their relationship while equipping dads to dial in more intentionally to their daughters. (If you want to read more about what I’m doing, check out www.theabbaproject.com). From time to time I will be posting both here and in the Positive Parenting sections. My posts in this section will be to you daughters.

Let me state something that you probably already know: For girls and guys alike there can be father wounds in our early years that effect current health and functioning.

Though I don’t want to oversimplify the healing process, I can say that by exposing those areas of pain to the light of God’s truth, we can find healing for unfinished business that may be lurking in our present day life. But we’ve got to start by being honest about the wound, while admitting to what’s actually there.

Often I’ve heard girls (of all ages) say things like, “I don’t even care about my dad anymore. He’s such a &*%$#@ so I’ve given up trying with him. He’ll never change anyway and it’s his loss, not mine.”

The reality is that it’s your loss too. A girl without her dad in her life is less able to confidently live life in an empowered way. The research actually confirms this! I know that sometimes there are extenuating circumstances that dictate a necessary distance, but the majority of females I meet are stuck because they don’t know how to talk to their dads and their dads don’t know how to talk to them, especially about the hard stuff.

Stalemate.

I can speak from experience on this one because me and my dad have definitely bonked heads through the years. And truth be told, we still have to work through things. We’ve had to compromise and both be willing to apologize and ask forgiveness. The great thing now is that I can say that my relationship with my dad has helped to define me as I walk out being who God made me to be.

Here are a few questions to ponder:

1. Are you as close to your dad as you would like to be? If so, why? If not, why not?
2. What is one of the best memories you have with your dad, and what is one of the hardest?
3. What do you wish was different in your relationship with your dad?
4. What is one thing you think dads need to understand about their daughters and/or their relationship with them that would help them be better fathers?

I do understand that not all dads are open to working things through with their daughters, but for you who are wanting to begin healing your dad wounds I invite you to consider opening up and being honest with yourself. Find a friend who can validate you while you share your story. Get a journal and begin writing about your relationship with your dad.

I’ll be giving you more questions as we walk through life together with upcoming action steps in relation to your dad, and I’m here to tell you that it IS possible to see your wounds healed. It all starts with getting honest.

PS. I’ve also written some questions directly to dads that you can use to get discussion going with your own dad. Check out my post Beginning the Journey to Your Daughter’s Heart.