Beginning the Journey To Your Daughter’s Heart

Now that FINDINGbalance has a new format, I’m excited to be blogging in the Positive Parenting section. I realize you may not know me so I’ll begin by telling you that I have a passion for seeing dads and daughters strengthen their relationship while equipping dads to dial in more intentionally to their daughters. (If you want to read more about what I’m doing, check out www.theabbaproject.com).

I believe that dads have the power to change their daughter’s lives in greater and more profound ways than anything else on planet earth. To underscore the vital importance of this relationship, I’d encourage you to read Malachi 4:6, the very last verse of the Old Testament where God says that if fathers don’t turn to their children and vice versa then He will come and strike the land with a curse. How’s that for God being serious about this issue?!

Research on the positive impact of a dad into a daughter’s life is profound. To sum it up in a very general way: a girl whose dad is actively engaged in her life is more able to confidently live in an empowered way than those who don’t have father support. Yet the majority of dads I meet feel stuck because they don’t know how to talk to their girls as they get older, especially about the deep or hard things.

I’ve learned some of this the hard way because my dad and I have definitely bonked heads through the years. We’ve had to compromise and both be willing to apologize and ask forgiveness. The great thing now is that I can say that my relationship with my dad has helped to define me as I walk out being who God made me to be and we’re the best of friends!

It is my desire is to help equip dads to connect with your daughters by giving you tools to open up dialogue and truly connect at a heart level with your girls. I’ve found that men are hungry to learn better tools to build the bridge to your daughter’s hearts, and a great place to begin is by asking questions (talking with her, not at her)…and then really listening to what she says.

For questions to ask her, see my post “Healing the Father Wound” to daughters in the Chasing Freedom blog.

Here are three questions to ponder for yourself:

1. Are you as close to your daughter as you would like to be? If so, why…and if not, why not.
2. What is one of the best memories you have with your daughter and what is one of the hardest memories?
3. What do you wish was different in your relationship with your daughter?

I understand that not all dads are open to asking questions like these, or working things through with their daughters, but for you who are willing to begin healing and/or strengthening your relationship with your daughter I invite you to consider opening up and being honest, first with yourself.

As you journey toward a deeper relationship with your daughter(s), I highly recommend you find another dad to share with who can both join you and support you in this process. And even if this next step isn’t what you’re used to, I would strongly encourage you to get a journal and begin writing about your relationship with your daughter and what you learn along the way….about her and about yourself.

I’ll be here to guide you along the way.